I recall quite clearly when I retired, from Shell in the Netherlands, at the tender age of fifty. I have never regretted that decision for an instant. The quieter life of a retiree suited me immediately, and it opened up a number of fresh pathways which ultimately transformed my life, from helping to raise two more kids to an extended adventure in New York to a much more expansive relationship with choral singing.
Some may wonder if my cancer diagnosis became a source of delayed regret about early retirement. Actually, the opposite is true. I look on it as having given me twelve years of a satisfied retirement that I otherwise would have sacrificed. The thought of still struggling through a corporate life and its requirements and then one busy day told that I had a terminal illness does not induce regret, only relief.
Fed perhaps by fear, envy, judgment or mere curiosity, I was often quizzed by people about how retirement changed me, especially in its early years. I found myself extolling one particular aspect of my altered life and would talk with special joy about the first 90 minutes of each day. Far from the former routine of an early alarm call, rushed preparation and a strenuous commute to an office waiting with dozens of e-mails to answer, I could now follow my own clock. My wife would get up even earlier than I used to, but when she left the apartment for her bus then the world was my own, and I cherished that time. I could linger in bed, then deal with the (many fewer) e-mails while enjoying some TV and the pleasures of tea, coffee and cereals. I could achieve all this without any rush at all and still have plenty of time to complete errands before noon.
Now history is starting to repeat itself in our new circumstances. We are in a new country, in generous surroundings with benign climate and peaceful atmosphere. It is my wife who has retired and has the chance to witness and to create change in consequence. I can find my new morning routine, with the added inducement of sharing some of it with my life partner.
Buoyed by an enduring phase of good health, and by the smartness of my wife, I have settled quickly into what I am calling my morning potter. Here I usually wake around 8.30AM (still earlier then my wife, who most days can potter even more languidly than I can. I put on a bath robe and immediately take my morning pills, before drifting into the kitchen, starting tea and orange juice for two, opening the sun room, checking the weather, and starting up my laptop.
Juice, tea and perhaps a croissant close at hand, I find a good spot with a lovely view and potter away for the best part of an hour. E-mails do not take long to handle, and my new phone does not usually have much to disturb me either. I get myself up to date with any US sport that took place while I was asleep. Then I can play my five morning games on the computer, Worldle, Nerdle, Wordle, Byrdle and Connections. One benefit of feeling well is that my game performance has been restored to its former level – perhaps this is a reminder that good times cannot last for ever and I should cherish them even more.
After the games, I can turn on my pride and joy, my beautiful De Longhi coffee machine, and make a delicious cup for each of us, so my wife will have three liquid joys awaiting her when she rises. Next for me on the computer will be my daily fifty Portuguese words and phrases and perhaps a few irregular verbs. That study certainly pays off and progress feels rapid just now. After the language work, I might read a section of this week’s Economist online.
Now I’ll shave and dress, trying to get that out of the way before my wife needs the bathroom, and surely it is also time for some more delicious Portuguese breakfast food. I have recovered a childhood love of Weetabix, but it is also hard to walk past a pile of famous Portuguese Pasteis de Nata, and the fruit is rather wonderful too.
By now my wife will be in the bathroom, so I can cross the living room to my electronic piano and play there for twenty or thirty minutes. That is another skill that seems to be returning, and surely another one to embrace while health and coordination allow. Luckily, this habit is a popular one not just with my wife but also with the neighbours, so I can spread a little joy while partaking in it myself. Afterwards I might return to read another Economist section if time permits, or otherwise I can shuffle money around or do some other administration to prepare for the day ahead.
We have been blessed with many warm and calm and sunny days, so my morning potter can sometimes be topped off with a quiet sit down outside in the sun, soaking up warmth and view. My wife can at last catch up with me. The bathroom part of her morning potter is longer than mine, but just as pleasurable. I have a new pride and joy in the form of a steam shower in the bathroom, and my wife might enjoy that in the morning, though my emerging habit is to enjoy that at night.
We have been quite busy so far, even if the pace has started to slacken. Once we are both fully up and ready, we can head of for a beach-side walk, often in parallel with some hospital or other administrative errand and some grocery shopping. We are discovering that it is hard to get out of the villa before 11.30, and then that it is hard to complete our daily tasks and joys and return home before 4pm. That squeezes lunch and also delays my time for a nap before we settle down to evening TV, but I am fine with that. Still, I might still have time for an early evening potter (more Portuguese, anyone? Or write a blog post?).
I have little fear now of my wife missing work and becoming bored. She always loved a morning potter even when it was only available to her on Saturdays. Now she is starting to cherish it, and also to embrace an early evening routine of home improvement and sometimes nipping out to buy something for a current project. I sense that she loves it. We do not know how long this grace period of good health will last, and both our potter routines will become tougher when it ends, but we are at least creating a good starting point for that time, and perhaps parts of our routines will still endure even if my health is less robust.
The daily potters are far from the only joys that we are discovering in Portugal. The beach-side walks are wonderful, and we are making sure that we treat ourselves with food and wine often enough. Our church and our choirs bring us joy, as does frequent contact with friends and family.
One winter project involves installing some solar and perhaps finding a way to heat our pool. The only way I can think of that would make my morning potter much more enjoyable would be a swim, and at the moment that is not a practical option for five months per year. Perhaps we’ll also get in the habit of spending more time on our roof or balcony, where the views are at their finest.
It feels wonderful to have discovered a new morning pottering routine. It feels even more wonderful to observe how my wife is achieving the same. Many find that retirement is not an easy transition, and that is far from the only transition that she is facing just now. But I do believe that a morning potter can be of immense help. I certainly value my own mornings more than ever.
