Six Months Retired

It is over six months now since I last made may daily trudge to Rijswijk to spend seven or eight hours in an office. It feels a good time to review the experience, in case anyone is contemplating a similar move. What surprises have there been?

The surprise is the lack of surprises. I had thought a long time about quitting work, and thought I was ready. I’d had the good luck to have had quite a quiet last year or two while in work, to smooth the transition. Nonetheless I expected surprises.

It is always a good idea to expect surprises. “An expectation is a premeditated disappointment”, after all. And this was a big change, into a way of life I could not rehearse. There were also the words of many people ringing in my ears. There was the crowd who found the whole idea a bit distasteful, led by my mother with many adherents, who thought that a man my age needed work to prevent a total collapse of the grey cells.

I also overheard someone reciting a tale from their Shell retirement course. I didn’t get to go on that myself, perhaps due to my lacking the age requirement. Seemingly at the start of the course, the facilitator asks everyone what they will do once they retire. The first one to reply dreams of a week of seven weekend days, filled with idle repose. Hah, scorns the facilitator, that will last you a week before you get bored! The next reply talks of round the world cruises and long-deferred family visits. Fair enough, says the sceptical facilitator, and then what?

At the time of hearing this, I was a few weeks from retirement. I dreamed of seven day weekends. I had vague thoughts of holidays but no real plans. I didn’t have many other plans either, to be honest. Would I be bored stupid within a month?

Well, no. Not for a second. I can’t recall a moment of boredom. I actually feel busier than before I retired. And the pipeline of vague plans is still exactly that – a pleasing, vague set of thoughts for future enjoyment.

Feeling busy is real, Yet many days I would struggle to say what I had achieved. The day is shorter, as I tend to get up later and wallow in the start of the day, taking time to feel awake and enjoying breakfast. I think that is one key to feeling happy and fulfilled, taking time to enjoy things, especially simple things like a meal or reading. With a 07.36AM bus to catch, that was harder to achieve in work.

Perhaps I am an exception, and have somehow tricked inevitable boredom and decline (so far). After all, I did manage a good wind down process. I’ve had a few one-off distractions in these months, notably moving house and acquiring a family. Some nice projects have come up to keep me busy. There is always blogging.

However, my sense is that most people could make a similar list. The difference may be in the mind. Many people struggle to make a transition like retirement with a positive mindset. It is not surprising. First, there is the hit to the ego of coming to recognise that you are not indispensible at work. That may be very sudden in the situation where the timing of quitting work is imposed rather than chosen. Second, there may be unresolved tensions at home, made worse by the sudden addition of time to spend together. Finally, there is the mum factor, voices ringing in ears about loss of purpose or value.

I saw “Another Year” at the weekend. I like Mike Leigh very much, with his dark but intimate portraits of real people. Even though Tom and Gerri work, you sensed that retirement would not challenge them, indeed would be a gift to them. There is little tension between them, they have balanced lives, and can laugh at themselves. There is a nice passage in the film where the character called Ken has a moan about his work. He has an age and seniority which would enable him to retire tomorrow, yet the very prospect fills him with dread.

I suppose the conclusion is about being happy with yourself. The one person you inevitably spend more time with on retirement is yourself. If being with yourself is something you enjoy, then you will have more opportunity to enjoy it. If you have inner tensions, retirement will only succeed in exposing them.

What is sad and unnecessary is that the very transition creates inner tensions in people. So make sure you start preparing early enough. Keep telling yourself that your firm could survive without you. Get out before you are pushed. Force yourself to wind down. Don’t believe your mother and other doubters. And, for the benefit of your partner and friends, don’t become your mother yourself!