Who needs God?

When do you feel good?

Studies are pretty consistent on this one, and my own feelings are in line with the studies. I feel good when somehow I can avoid worrying about things that are out of my control. I feel good when I make someone else feel good, maybe by forgiving them or complimenting them. I feel good when I am in the company of good friends that I respect. I feel good when I am achieving something for my fellow human being, albeit small. I feel good when I can find some peace and some love.

Now think about techniques to achieve these things.

To worry less, reminding oneself about how small we are is a good start. We control little. We understand little. Shit happens. Wonderful things happen too. If we can be nonchalant about the shit and really notice and celebrate the wonderful things then life is rosier. We could spend our lives hiding from possible shit, but we have been given the gift of a single life, and life is surely for living not for hiding. What we do with our lives is up to us. Counting our blessings is in our self-interest.

Making other people feel good is surprisingly easy, it just takes some courage and practice. Whenever we can put ourselves in the shoes of others, give them the benefit of the doubt, or start from a premise of wanting to understand them and help them, then we have more chance. Does this harm ourselves? Not usually. Of course, if we don’t defend our own interests at all, we might find ourselves without a job or a home or any money. But it surprising how rarely defending our own interests requires blocking someone else. And if we are good to others, amazingly, they start being good to us. The people who receive smiles and compliments and gifts are usually the ones who give them.

It also helps if we can learn to work against our prejudices. Everyone is different, but does that mean we can’t respect others unless they are like us? If we see life as some sort of zero sum game, where our tribe has to protect itself against the others or lose out, then we grow suspicious. But how often is that necessary?

Finding good friends can be hard. We have to develop our social skills. I read one study lately which claimed that 90% of education is about knowledge, getting a job, earning money and so on, while only 10% is about getting on with others. They argued it should be the other way around. Imagine that. The first class on Monday would be about lifetime partners and how to hold on to them. Then something about listening. Maths and history only on Friday afternoons. Not that silly a thought really. Of course, some of us are lucky enough to get our 90% social education from our parents. But not so many of us really.

One way to develop social skills and find friends is to throw ourselves into a club or community. It is even better if the others in the club or community are trying to follow the same ideas as us about being happy. Maybe the community can also be the vehicle for doing some good for fellow humans. Perhaps they can offer ways to serve, whether it is the disadvantaged or the lonely. We can use whatever energy we can find for this, recognising that sometimes we have to place our own friends and family and ourselves first.

Lastly there is peace. Become fatalistic about the ups and downs of life can help us get less stressed. There are also techniques available to us, like relaxation or meditation. We all know that when we can find time out of our busy lives to slow down our brains, then that helps us feel happier. So why don’t most of us do it?

Now look at the world’s religions. The basic core of most religions is very similar. If you examine what the holy books actually say rather than what the religious leaders actually preach, then it is even more so.

Most religions encourage us to be fatalistic. They express it a bit differently, by using a construct called God. God understands, so we shouldn’t worry ourselves. Usually there is more, stuff about us being more likely to get good results if we are good ourselves or believe this and that. But we don’t really need to believe any of that. Just recognising that we are small and usually ignorant and not in control is healthy and enough.

All religions encourage us to be good to our neighbours. Sometimes they limit this to other believers of the same religion, but again, they don’t usually stop us being good to others as well. And if we study the original teaching, we can usually find support for loving those of other faiths.

A religious community can be many things. But a good one will usually emphasise the techniques to make us happy, and also give us the forum to meet friends and to serve.
And all religions recommend meditation, usually called prayer. All religions emphasise time devoted to reflection, often supported by comforting rituals.
So, does religion make you happy? It seems like it has the potential too. And perhaps it is no coincidence that doctrines that have stood the test of time should help humanity.

But what about the other features of organised religion?

First, there is the credo, or belief system. That can be tricky if you don’t believe in afterlife, or reincarnation, or miraculous acts of prophets. But maybe you can treat these as symbols or metaphors. After all, over the years some former absolute beliefs have become rather watered down, the literal interpretation of Adam and Eve for one. It may seem wrong stating you believe something you don’t, but, if you join in but are private about what you really believe, you would not be alone in your Church. More, as you recite the prayers and creeds and take part in the rituals, you might ask yourself if you are really certain they are wrong. How can you be so sure?

Next, there is the politics of the Church itself. Sadly, the senior figures in most Churches appear to have been on the wrong side of history more often than not. Church leaders even encourage their members to go to war against other Churches. They are usually pretty cowardly in choosing what to condemn or ignore. And their attitudes, for example to women or contraception, may not be easy to swallow. But are you joining a community or a political party here? And even if it were a political party, maybe you would not agree with every policy. Perhaps you also work for a company whose ethical stances you find questionable? It is possible to be part of a group without agreeing with everything the group does.

Then, some religious communities place less emphasis on the values that make us happy than on other values. Conservative homilies about the good old days or the youth of today. Reference to sin and punishment rather than forgiveness and redemption. And many Church communities seem full of some of the least good role models for their own beliefs, with a lot of bitterness and rivalry. I would not want to join a community like that. But the good news is that local Church communities exist full of the joyful energy of happiness values. If you look, you might find one. I will go further – probably the organised community closest to you that best epitomises the values that can make you happy is a Church one.

So, this is a bit of a strange advert for joining a religious community. The content of this advert is unlikely to be the declared content of what your local Churches offer. But why not look a bit deeper below the surface? You might be surprised. And as a result you might end up happier.

Without any need for God.

Unless, of course, this is all what God intends for us after all. Who knows?