In Celebration of today's Youth

I have just enjoyed a marvelous week singing in Princeton with the Westminster Choir College Summer School.

There was so much to love about the week. It was the strongest choir I had ever sung with, so the week was full of learning and it rekindled my desire to improve. The music was superb and the concert excellent. The teachers were great. The surroundings were also lovely – Princeton is the most pleasant US university town we have visited so far. The whole week was a fantastic gift, I feel completely privileged to have been a part of the festival.

But despite all those reasons for joy, something else about the week stood out for me. Of fifty eight in the choir, about fifty were in their twenties. And collectively they were a credit to their generation.

I heard and saw nothing but respect throughout the week. They were all at ease in any company. They had each embraced their own style, whether of dress or character, and all seemed comfortable with their choice and the choice of those around them. In hardly any eyes did I see any pain or discomfort. I did not observe one cigarette during the week. Their talent was incredible, but so too their discipline, their motivation, and their humility.

When I compare myself at that age and what I remember of my peers, the contrast is striking. Many of us had serious social issues, notably in how we related to the opposite gender but also in our attitudes to people of difference and society at large. We were less mature, less balanced, and less at peace.

This wonderful phenomenon set me thinking. Firstly, was this a unique group? Are we witnessing a general improvement, or rather a growth in inequality of personality, with the lucky ones getting more mature and the less lucky ones less? I am inclined to take the more optimistic view.

I have to acknowledge that this was an elite group. They were predominantly white, and many showed signs of having wealthy parents – many were driving fancier cars than mine. They are high achievers within their field. And their field of choral music is one that will attract team players and offers many life lessons. Finally, guys that specialize in choral music are very likely to be in touch with their feminine side, an evident fact this week. That helped to take any macho or sexual tension out of the group.

But I believe I witnessed the extreme upper end of a general trend rather than something confined to elites. I have evidence.

First, this is not the first occasion I have been impressed with youth. In my latter years at Shell, I noticed many the incoming kids to be markedly more mature than those who had gone before. Admittedly that was an elite group as well, albeit a different one.

Then I think of the friends of my children. When my daughter was in her teens, her group was more mature than previous generations, though quite a few exhibited growing pains. Her friends seem to have developed into wonderful twenty-somethings as well. Now I am going through the same process with two more teenagers, and, if anything, their friends are even more mature and balanced. OK, I accept these anecdotes still refer to elite groups.

For a more general analysis, I turn to the Economist of last week. The findings are clear. Across multiple dimensions, there seem to be improvements across the board, at least in rich and middle-income countries. Teenage crime is well down. Teenage pregnancy is starkly lower. Smoking and drug and alcohol abuse are sharply down as well. Happily, it does seem as though there is a general trend here.

The Economist offered some possible reasons why things have improved. Some credit was paid to stronger enforcement and better policing. But most credit was offered to better parenting.

I agree. There are many supporting factors. Dads are much more willing to play a role than they were even twenty years ago. While Mum’s and Dad’s are both working nowadays, they can sometimes work from home or take advantage of other flexible arrangements. The housework burden on Mums has reduced thanks to things like dishwashers.

More important, Mums and Dads have a better idea what to do nowadays. There are all sorts of self-help books available now. Perhaps most important, the emphasis seems to have moved from respecting authority, doing what one is told, and putting on a good show for the neighbours (or priest, or head teacher, or grandparents) towards growth and respect for society and humanity.

Perhaps most important of all, there is now more of a climate of acceptance. Difference used to feared and condemned, then tolerated, but now celebrated. Any child in former times growing up in a home with divorce or mixed race or lacking any of a number of other expected norms was likely to feel some resentment or shame. Most of us were secretly ashamed of something or resentful of something else, and our growth was inhibited as a result.

This is a massive social change with a huge positive payoff. Divorce is as common as ever, but now it can even help kids after a few years, since some kids can benefit from three or even four parents. The most admired kids nowadays are often the mixed race ones, with their exotic looks and fused cultures. Of course, these trends are happening at different speeds in different countries and social groups, but the overall trend is positive almost everywhere.

I also pay respect to smarter education. Teaching style nowadays is less about facts and more about growth and discovery. There has also been a move where respect for authority has been supplemented by respect for peers and self, and even respect for the planet.

Finally, and maybe even more valuably, kids are much better at helping each other now, thanks to technology. We like to complain about their constant texting and gaming, but we tend to forget the positive side. Kids now are never bored, so they do not brood resentment as easily as former generations. Google gives them solutions to most things, and Facebook to the rest. Social media helps a segmentation, whereby almost all kids can find a respectful group of peers to grow with and learn from and to gain self-confidence.

Whatever the reasons, these trends can only pertain good for humanity. Being with such young people fills me with joy. It helps me move beyond the headline of an isolated gun spree or abysmal politics or the perennial moans of my own peers. The future can only be bright, especially considering that the parenting and social network factors continue to spread around the world. Think also, if my lot have managed to be reasonable parents, this next group will be spectacular ones.

It will take time. The older generation may have left an improved micro legacy as parents, but our macro legacy is horrible, characterized by inequality, dysfunction and disrespect. Maybe as many as half of these talented people at Princeton will struggle to make a decent living. Of the ones who do, many will join the misery that I observed on the opposite carriageway as a drove there, sitting on the Gawanus for two hours every morning.

There must be a better way. Slowly, humanity will discover it. It will be achieved bottom up rather than top down. And it will be delivered by the wonderful people I had the pleasure of meeting this week, and their many peers. Wow, this makes me feel so good.