Monday, January 23, 2023

The Momentum of Small Defeats and Small Victories

 Momentum is a powerful concept in many contexts. It is interesting because it is a rare combination of analytical logic and of emotion, and sometimes it is hard to work out which of those is more influential in driving outcomes. Even if we think we are logical people, we would be wise to account for the emotional side of the concept and to try to make it work in our favour.

 

Sports pundits love to explain trends as a result of momentum. Every team is capable of an unusually good run of results or an unusually bad sequence. Often the result of a particular game can seem almost inevitable, even if that means the team with less talent and even the one lying lower in the table is the one predestined to succeed. Very often this result is exactly what happens.

 

The pundits quote a variety of factors when they make such predictions. The betting markets often support the predictions, and they certainly know what they are doing. Some of the factors are specific and logical. One team may have several injured players or may be missing their most important player due to injury or poor form. There may be something about a matchup between these two teams, or a historic rivalry which gives a psychological advantage to one or the other. But these logical factors are usually balanced by emotional ones. Somehow the confidence from the pundits or fans or coaches translates into extra belief among the players, and that extra belief becomes confidence and enhances performance.

 

There is cause and effect at work here. Perhaps the confidence of the team comes first and is picked up on by the pundits and others, or perhaps it is the other way around or some combination. But I have witnessed it from both ends. There are times when I just my sports teams are going to win, and other times when I am pretty sure they will lose, and my expectation comes from more than logical analysis. When I used to play golf, there were times when I just knew that my shot would fly down the fairway and other times when I knew that was not going to happen, and confidence, or momentum, or emotional belief, played a big part.

 

I have also witnessed confidence sliding into complacency. There was often a moment when playing a bridge tournament that things were going so well that my mind wandered into a glorious future of winning the whole event. Invariably the outcome was a complete collapse. Momentum and confidence are our friends until they become our downfall.

 

I have experienced more momentum, both positive and negative aspects, since I have fallen ill. I believe health has a lot to do with momentum, and that means that attitude as well as logic or symptoms or context can have an influence. I recall falling sick one summer before the pandemic, initially just from a minor slip on a wet path leading to some pain and limping. That got into my head, and soon I had a cold and more pain and lots of other lingering symptoms which took several months to clear up. Somehow an attitude of sickness seeped into my whole being and became self-fulfilling.

 

I see the same thing at the nursing home for old people where we volunteer. The residents are most vulnerable when they first arrive. Often they are not terribly sick, but somebody has decided it is time for them to require residential care. But this mental defeat and the transition that follows is a mental burden that leads to poor outcomes. The new resident rebels against the loss of freedom, slides into a bad mood, decides that the wonderful nuns are part of a conspiracy against them and that the other residents are horrible or annoying, and all of this leads to difficulties in adjusting. In too many cases, the resident never really becomes happy in the home, and drift into a pattern of physical and emotional sickness that can lead to a premature death.

 

It is sad when we observe this, and we put extra effort into trying to befriend and help these new residents, seeking to turn their minds from a negative to a positive cycle. Our impact is very marginal, but all of the nuns and many of the other residents are wonderful at achieving this. One key is to try to encourage the new resident to experience thankfulness. Another is to emphasise things that are going well, so the new resident has some triumphs to dwell on as well as the inevitable defeats.

 

This attitude shift has been a bigger element in my own recent journey than I care to admit, as someone who usually prides himself on his dispassionate logical approach to life. In the recovery from the operation on December 22nd, I did not have excess pain or headaches, but I still found myself facing negative momentum and its implications.

 

The starting point for the negative momentum is the worsened optical symptoms I am facing. The surgeon told me it would happen and that I would not have seen much improvement by now but it still frustrating and sometimes makes me fearful of how life would be if things got worse.

 

It is the secondary effects of the reduced vision that I was not expecting and that have affected my mood. I can accept misreading words or some sight-reading errors or sports being slower on the TV, and I think I could accept a long period of not being safe to drive. I can be thankful that I can move about independently and have the discipline to take a bit more time or look out crossing the road or if there are steps to navigate.

 

But I get so frustrated when I lose things and cannot easily find them. I let the loss of a black notebook become an obsession last week, even though I eventually found it. The notebook is not as critical as my head made it out to be. I might have lost it because I am more careless or because I am not seeing into certain types of spaces as well as before, or because other people are compensating for my untidiness by moving things around more often. But I am used to not losing such things, or to finding them immediately if I do lose them. It feels like a defeat when the loss feels permanent, or stupid, or indicative of something more disabling. And defeats make me fear and expect other defeats, and that attitude make further defeats more likely.

 

There are other small changes that are a result of the vision issues but which I magnify into bigger problems than they are. I am messier with food, which is embarrassing and means I have to wash clothes more and puts more strain on others. I don’t know if the eyesight has anything to do with it, but bladder control is more difficult, and that is even more frustrating and embarrassing.

 

Over the last week or two I have started to turn the momentum around. This has several elements. One aspect is real progress, as I feel better and have had long enough away from steroids for their impact to have disappeared. I think I have been smart in challenging myself to create a list of small victories to balance the defeats, and to keep a mental note of such victories so I do not mentally let the defeats overshadow them. Being thankful for the victories and the capabilities I have retained that are not comprised is helpful. Those I love have helped too, by staying positive, pointing out how trivial many of the defeats really are and by building up the victories.

 

Sometimes defeats are real, serious, and portend further defeats. But usually a run of negative momentum is not as disastrous or as permanent as our brains can make it seem. We can turn things around, and we can help others turn things around mentally too. Helping somebody else can be a great way to turn around our own momentum. We volunteered at the home last night and I think the biggest beneficiary was me, partly because I could be thankful for what I have compared with many of the residents and partly because I think I was helpful to some of those residents.

 

Finding momentum turners is important when we are in a negative cycle or trying to help others facing such a cycle. There are many ways to help. We can point out that defeats are often temporary and not all that serious, and can seek out victories and make sure they are sufficiently noted. We can be thankful for what we have, and seek to help others. I have needed all of these techniques over the last couple of weeks. I hope that the current upswing can continue, but I must also be ready for the next downswing, be ready to respond when it arises and remain thankful for ther love of others helping me through the less good times.    

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