Tips from a long-term expat

Next summer it will be twenty years since I left the UK to live in Sweden. I would never have dreamed that I would be away from my native land for so long. After Sweden, I went on to live in Norway, the Netherlands and now the US.

A few weeks ago, Schumpeter wrote a good column in the Economist about expatriates. His main theme was that companies tended to waste the experience of returning expats. I agree with that claim. Time and again, I have seen the careers of returning expats stall. While the initial move away tends to be well reasoned as an attempt to broaden the experience of a rising executive, rarely does that experience receive much value upon return.

There are a variety of reasons for this wasteful state of affairs. Some relate to the expats themselves. Many enjoy the experience of being a bigger fish in a smaller pond and spin out their posting, or try to acquire a second or third posting somewhere else. When they do return, they can resent it, can feel undervalued, and fail to make enough effort to apply the lessons from their experience to their home business. Quite a few leave the company altogether.

It does not help that reintegration into a home country can be hard socially too. Outlooks have changed, yet old friends have moved on and no one seems to want to hear about how exciting life is in whatever foreign country they have been living. And coming back to live on a more meagre salary is hardly an incentive.

If the expats fail their companies, the companies usually fail the returning expats as well. HR systems and power networks tend to be very parochial. An expat is out of sight and frequently out of mind as well, so when it is time to return they have often been forgotten and are placed somewhere hastily that does not fit their skills. The knowledge that they have acquired is not seen as valuable, and is even resented, while jealousy can also be a problem. While onboarding programmes for new staff and even new expats can be lavish, little effort is placed on reintegrating returning expats. If a foreigner arrives in the office, people make an attempt to listen to them and learn from them, at least after initial suspicion. A returning expat can have just as much to offer, but is seldom asked.

Schumpeter made all these points, and I can support a good many of them from my own experience and that of those I observed. One thing that became clear in my case was that the most transferable skills that I acquired as an expat were those that would help me in other expat assignments rather than back home. And when ready to move, no one back in the UK system could remember me, but when other expat assignments became available, I seemed to be on the radar.

I recall one short conversation on a plane after I had been away from the UK for maybe four years, with the head of Shell UK’s retail business at that time. I had left the UK two levels below that post, but had done quite well in two jobs in Europe, eventually rising to a sort of shareholder advisor role to his position, that could loosely be termed a peer function. On the plane, he sounded me out for a position reporting to him. In his mind, he was being generous in considering someone from outside his regular system for what he saw as a big job. In my mind, I had already progressed past that level, and the only job in that business that would fit me would be his own. Stupidly, that is exactly what I said to him. The conversation ended swiftly and I never received any interest from Shell UK again. He felt threatened, especially since I might have been consulted about his own performance, and he felt unjustly rebuffed. He was half right, and so was I, since I had a reasonable case for a more ambitious career path, but should never have expressed it so bluntly. I condemned myself to the role of jumped up outsider. In this small story lie a hundred lessons for anyone on the expat trail.

The article offers many tips for aspiring expats, and I can add a few more. From the article, one key tip is to be very cautious when it is time to come home. Keep your network as strong as it can be, but expect the need to rebuild it, and build one outside your own company. Be ready to accept a more modest job than you might think you deserve, at least for a time. Don’t show off about your expat experience, just let what it has taught you come through in your work (in that respect, such experience is just like gaining an MBA).

Socially, a returning expat has to recognise that the people at home at not like the ones you got to know abroad, and are unlikely to want to be regaled of stories from foreign lands. Take time to rediscover the self you were before you left rather than rejecting it. Practically, quickly get back into former frugal habits, for the money will be tighter.

I can add some tips to apply during an expat assignment as well. Expect some resentment and jealousy abroad as well, and don’t go on at length about how things are done at home. Instead, try to integrate as much as you can into your new country. You will need to mingle with expats, but make sure you take on local activities as well, these will ultimately be the most memorable. Really try to learn the language, and keep trying, making sure you improve year after year. Ultimately, my biggest regret is that I was far too lazy in learning languages, especially after the initial enthusiasm in Sweden.

Your attitude about the length of your assignment is very important for your wellbeing. In your company, always say – and believe – that you will be there for the long term, and that your wish is to remain as long as possible. Even if it looks like your stay is closing, stay in the present and keep behaving in your social life as though it will continue for some time: keep buying things and arranging things, for otherwise you’ll live in an unpleasant limbo for what could be a long time. But also have half an eye on other possibilities: when I left the UK, I never thought it would be for more than a few years, and I may well have planned differently if I had considered that as a possibility. This is a tough balance to manage, and requires deep and frequent discussion with your family, as it is so easy for assumptions to dominate and preferences to change without acknowledgement.

Depending on your company, you will probably do well financially out of expatriation, perhaps even very well, but you’ll only really know afterwards and it will take at least six months for there to be any stability in your finances. Managing dual careers through expatriation is an exception and needs great care, but otherwise make the early stages less stressful by being ready to spend much more than you otherwise would.

I developed a rather negative view of my homeland while away from it, something that may be a risk for others too. I tended to see where I was living through a half full glass, but matters at home with a half empty one. I forgot the best things about home, and also remembered it as it was rather than accepting that things could have improved. It was only recently that trips to London have rekindled positive thoughts about the UK and even some desire to live there again one day.

Expatriation has been a massive blessing for me. When it started, the circumstances were perfect, in that there were no significant dual career issues yet I had a child young enough to grow and learn from the experience without major educational disruption. I think dual careers and teenage kids might be the only factors that would make me advise against taking a posting.

Then, as things developed, I was able to follow the tips I lay down here, more perhaps by good fortune than any wisdom, and notwithstanding stupidity on planes and laziness with languages. I feel the overall result to be a more fulfilled life than could have been possible within one country, blessed by a wider world view, blessings that I’ve also been able to pass onto my family. For people thinking about taking a spell abroad, on balance I’d advise almost anyone to go for it, so long as dual career discussions can be reconciled. And a lovely trend is that more and more people will have such opportunities, though maybe without quite the unwarranted financial benefits that were showered on me.

So here is a four step guide to considering expatriation. Step one is to deal with possible blockers, notably dual careers, via deep family discussion, with outside help if required. If you can get past step one, step two is to find a good enough opportunity, without being over-fussy about location or apparent finances. Step three is to read this blog. And step four is to go for it with full gusto. Good luck!