So your Boss sucks - what now?

Last year I wrote a blog “choose your boss, not your job” arguing that the line manager plays a fundamental role in our working life and it is well worth trying to get a good one. But often we can’t choose. Especially now, with the turbulence of Transition 09, many of us will have ended up with bosses we didn’t expect. And some of those bosses will be a disaster. What can you do about it?
There are as many types of bad boss as there are bad bosses. The weakling. The narcissist. The bigot. The obsessive. The absent. The creep. The bully. The gossip. The indecisive. The micromanager. The bitter. The loser. I’ve seen them all, in strange combinations. I’ve suffered under most of them. Heck, I’ve been many of them myself.
A few words of mitigation for bad bosses. They probably didn’t choose you either. They might never have wanted to be a line manager. They almost certainly never received any training or help. Their own boss may be a nightmare. They might be having a bad time at home. And, face it, you might just be a bad subordinate.
On the subject of judging less and seeking to understand more, here is a story from Greg Lewin. Wow, Greg becomes more of a hero in my eyes with every passing month. I was unimpressed with a manager in the US I had to deal with occasionally. I saw him as a bit lazy, stuck in his ways, obstructive. Without being direct about it, I took an opening one day to express some mild frustration to Greg. He looked me in the eye and said, “Yes, X hasn’t been the same since he lost his son last year”. Wow, did I feel small! What a great lesson.
Despite the mitigation and the call to judge less, overall I do find the quality of bosses in Shell (and I believe we are better than most) as a disgrace and a lost opportunity. Our influence as a line manager becomes much more significant than our influence as a professional as our careers develop, yet almost no attention is paid to assessing our suitability or developing us. Five years ago in Global Solutions I am proud to say that I was instrumental (with Greg) in starting Applied Leadership, a low cost programme to help bosses learn from their peers. In a modest way, it worked, though it suffered the weakness of all development that the ones who were most open to it were the ones with least need.
One more piece of mitigation. Being a boss is hard work. Most of my darkest most wearying moments in work in the last 15 years have come as a direct result of being a line manager. No matter how much you try, you will always fail, with such a variety of challenges and people to deal with. And it is hugely time consuming to do well. I noticed 18 months ago when I changed jobs that suddenly I was about 50% less busy. I’m convinced that had nothing to do with the respective job content save that I ceased to be a line manager.
Anyway, that is a long preamble. I’m supposed to be giving you some tips for handling your situation with a bad boss.
First, you have my sympathy. This makes such a difference. It is not fair. And there is so little you can do about it – indeed many of the things you are tempted to try will only make the situation worse. A bad boss is a nightmare, it makes your performance and self esteem suffer and holds you back. Sorry. But my first advice is to remember that little lasts forever. One of you will move before long or some other change will arrive to help. Try to chill. See this as swings and roundabouts – we all get this from time to time and at other times you will be blessed with good bosses. And lots of others are suffering too.
This advice is to try to stop you doing counter-productive things in your frustration. Don’t tell them they are a bad boss or fight them. Unless it is really bad, don’t go to their boss or to HR. Don’t try to do their job for them. Don’t ignore them or keep them in the dark or work around them. Don’t humiliate them or gossip about them. Be very careful how you coach them. Sorry, but all these things are likely to make things worse. The root cause of most bad bosses is their own insecurity, either generally or with you. All this type of action does is simply feed that insecurity. Don’t. Stop digging, my friend.
The next advice is to try to authentically help them, by looking at the world through their eyes. You may find this distasteful and wonder why you should – after all, they are paid more than you! But it is in your own interest. Work out what makes them insecure, and try to lessen it. Maybe they need reassurance, and if you really try hard to can find honest statements that can offer it. If they can’t make decisions then make it pitifully easy in the way you present options. If they are frightened of their own boss then make them look good in front of him or her. Most causes have partial remedies if you look for them. And taking this approach has the additional benefit that you will understand their own context better – like the man who lost his son.
Respectfully and cautiously, you can involve the boss in this process. Without threatening, ask them what they like, what would help them, what they would like from you. You might be surprised, not least in that they may view you in a way totally different to what you assumed, most often more positively. You might create space where they are ready to accept some coaching from you. In this you can also involve people around you, peers and others, just as long as you don’t descend to gossip and ganging up or collective whingeing. Others may have a secret they can share. They can also help in practical and emotional ways.
Next, cover your bases. When you have a bad boss, you do need to be somewhat more formal. Put things in writing. Take care over your GPA. Offer frequent reviews, suggest milestones, make sure you deliver. Use your customer to verify that you are performing well. Carefully, make sure that the peers and boss of the boss see some of your work. Check frequently what is expected and meant. Demand specific feedback and reviews. Sorry, you’ll probably get a worse IPF than you deserve anyway, but at least you can minimise the damage.
Next, create options. Few situations are unchangeable. There will often be a chance to be assigned on a project where the boss has less influence. You can try to bring forward your transfer, or change the content of your role so the boss should change. You are always free to leave. You can even try to engineer a new job for the boss! Make these things a campaign, don’t act hastily but perhaps give yourself a year to see what can be achieved.
Finally, look at yourself. Often the most useful feedback you will have a chance to receive will come from a boss who has problems with you. After all, they have to try to articulate why you are failing, and, amidst all the rubbish, there will be some gems, some uncomfortable truths. Be open to that, it is a gift, one hard to accept because of where it comes from. Also, think about how you are as a subordinate. If you are someone who seems to have suffered a succession of bad bosses, then consider whether the problem might just be you and not them.